The Language Of Love, (The
Five Languages Of Love By Gary Chapman).
I Recommend Reading Both “The Language Of Love” By Gary Smalley & John Trent And
Gary Chapman’s Book Called, “The Five Languages Of Love”.
Most Women Have As Their Language Of Love “Quality Time
Spent With Them” And “Acts Of Service”… My Wife Has These
And Although You May Like Flowers, My Wife Doesn’t… (She’d
Rather Have Chocolate… So, When I Go On A Long Trip, I
Hide Chocolate In Various Places Where She Is Sure To Find
Them).
The Other Languages Of Love Include “Words Of Affirmation”
{“Atta-Boys” And “Pats On The Back”) And “Physical Touch”. These
Happen To Be My Languages Of Love, And So You Might Perceive
That These Would Mean Anything To Anyone If They Are Not
Your Language Of Love, (But Believe Me, His Love Tank Is
Empty If You “Do” Something For Him Like Wash His Car. Now
My Brother’s And My Father’s Language Of Love Was “Acts Of
Service”, So Buying Him Something, Just Won’t Satisfy
Their Language Of Love.
In
Fact, My Father Would Bemoan And Groan About How He Wish That I
Would Buy Him Anything, And That Would Make Me Feel Bad,
Because Apparently Another Of My Languages Of Love Is “Giving Of Gifts”, And Folks That Have This Give Not Only
Love To Give Gifts, But They Like All Languages Of Love,
Like To Receive Gifts, And They Will Treasure The Gifts For
A Long Time And Put Them Where They Can Be Prominently
Displayed. You May Have This Gift, If You
Equate Something You Can GIVE To Male That Is Equal To When
He Brings You Flowers.
But, If Your Fellow’s Language Of Love Is Physical Touch,
That Does Not Mean Intimate Contact, But, Like When Your
Daughter Hugs You For Just Not Reason At All, Or My Wife
Comes Up Behind Me While I’m Watching TV And Puts Her Arms
Around My Head.
Now, It Will Mean Even More To Me, If My Wife Will Tell Me
Something That I Do Right. Like For Example. Tonight, My
Wife Went To Print Something And The Printer Didn’t Work…
And I Am Like A Computer Guru, (Most Men Are More
Logical And Women Are More Relational… I Saw Something
Heartwarming Tonight On YouTube And A Woman Clutched Her
Heart… Men Are Almost Devoid Of That Characteristic… We
Look At Other Men And Our Expressions Tell The Women We
Don’t Have A Clue What Is Happening).
But, Because I Am More Logical Than Relational, (I Might Say
Or Have Said Something That Will Offend You… Yet, I’m Not
Aware Of It). But, Being That I Am More Logical, I Don’t
Take The Printer Not Working Personally, And Say, “Why Does
This Always Happen To Me”. Logically, It’s Got To Be
Something, So I Just Went Through The Maintenance Checklist
And Let The Printer Reset The
Printer Heads And It Worked Flawlessly.
Now, I Say That To say That What Would Mean The Most To Me
Other Than A Small Bright Flashlight,
Would Be A Real Look Me In The Eye Compliment , (“I’m So
Glad That You’re My Husband”, {Or Alternately, “In My
Life”), “You Are The Smartest Techy Person I Know Of And We
Wouldn’t Flow As Smoothly As We Do Now Is You Were Not A
Part Of My Life”… Now, For Me It Would Really Be Icing On
The Cake If She’d Touch Me. But, The Really Cool Part About
“Physical Touch” Being One Of My Languages Of Love, Is That
“Physical Touch” Is Not Limited To “Physical Touch”… Those
With The Language Of Love As “Physical Touch”,
Yes, Food Does Mean A
Lot To Us.
I Went On A Trip To California Where We Worked
Outside All Day Long And Certain Women Were Assigned To Cook
Meals For Us, And We Would Work Until Midnight… But Those
Meals Really Made Me Feel Loved And Appreciated, (And I Cook
A Lot Myself). So, If My Wife Compliments Me And Also Hands
Me A Few Mixed Nuts, (Doesn’t Have To Be Elaborate, Like A
Strawberry ShortCake, But That Would Be Nice Also), And
Looks Me In The Eye, *(You Know The Thing That Small
Children Do To Your Face When They Grab It With Both Hands,
And Makes You Turn Your Head), And Says That I Am So Good At
Fixing Technical Stuff, And I Know That She Is Not, So That
Makes Me Feel That I Play An Important Role In My Wife’s
Life And That She Likes Hanging Around With Me.
Now, If Your Man’s Language Of Love Is “Words Of
Affirmation”, (Most Men Are), Then How Many Times Do You
Have To Affirm Him. How Many Times Does He Have To Tell You
That He Loves You, Or That You’re The Prettiest Woman He’s
Ever Seen? Same Amount Of Times… Daily, Not Just Daily,
But Five To Nine Times A Day.
First Thing Though, You Need To Discover His Language Of
Love, And That Can Be Ascertained By Watching Him. If He
Flinches When Someone Touches Him Or Doesn’t Like To Be
Hugged Long, (He Pats Your Back Three Times, As If To Say,
“Ok, That’s Enough” Or “Let Me Go”… Then Physical Touch Is
Not His Primary Love Language. If He Likes Doing things For
You, Like Fixing The Toilet Or Washing Your Car, Or Taking
Out The Garbage, Then His Primary Language Of Love Is Most
Likely “Acts Of Service”… Or If He Likes Being Alone, Then
“Quality Time Spent With You” Is Not Probably His Language
Of Love. And If He Is A Giver, Not Just To You But To
Everybody, (Like It sounds Like You Are), Then “Giving Of
Gifts” Will Probably Mean Something To Him.
In That Case, So, The Short Is A UltraFire FlashLight For
Under $10.00 Or Mixed Nuts, Or Cashews, (Almonds Are Too
Hard And I’ve Broken Teeth Trying To Biting Into An Almond.
Also, If He Has An Android Cell Phone, Then Buy Him some
USB Magnetic Cables That Can Also Transfer Data, (He
Will Need More Than One To Go To His Car. Then Can Connect
It To A Computer And DownLoad Stuff. If He Has An iPhone,
He’s Probably A Different Set Of Dogs~!)
But, It’s Almost A Given Since He’s A Male, That “Words Of
Affirmation” Are Something That Will Really Ring His Bell~!
Can You Take More? What About People Groups? Do Certain
People Groups Seems To Migrate Towards One Language Of Love,
(I Picture An Italian Mom, (Mama Mia), Coming In With A
Fresh Hot Plate Of Spaghetti And Making Sure That The Family
Is Together. What Do Suppose Are Her Languages Of Love?
Hebrews 10:24 …†
And Let Us Consider And Give Attentive, Continuous Care To Watching Over One
Another, “Studying” How We May Stir Up, (Stimulate And Incite), To Love And
Helpful Deeds And Noble Activities; {Amplified Bible Classic Edition (AMPC)}.
Illustration Number 1:
Once I Went Up Behind My Wife While She Was Washing Dishes
And I Put My Arms Around Her And Hugged Her, {“Physical
Touch” And Said, “You Are So Beautiful~!”, {“Words
Of Affirmation”} ~ Both My Language Of Love…
But Not My Wife’s. She Shrugged Me Off And Said, “Pass
Me The Dishing Washing Detergent”, (Her Language Of Love Is “Acts
Of Service” And She Wanted Me To “Do” Something For Her
And Not Shower Her With “Words Of
Affirmation”, Nor Did She Relish “Physical
Touch”.
This Was Before I Prayed About Why My Wife And I, And Why We Were So Different.
Yahweh Led Me To Gary Chapman’s Book Called,
“The Five Languages Of Love” To Be Honest, I Didn’t Read It, Because Reading Isn’t Me, (And That’s Another
Part Of Someone’s Make-Up ~ If They Are A “Text Reader” Or As I Am; “An Audio Visual Learner”).
So, I Bought The Audio Version Of The Book And Listened To It. The Results
Changed My Life, And Later On, To “The Language Of Love” By Gary Smalley And John Trent.
I Recommend Reading Both Gary Chapman’s Book Called, “The Five Languages Of Love”
And “The Language Of Love” By Gary Smalley & John Trent.
You See Gary Smalley Had Counseled A Couple And As He Was Praying About It, He
Felt Led To Have Both Parties Write Down 25 Great Things About The Other Person
And To Say Five Of These Things Each Day To The Other Person. After A Month,
They Came Back And The Man Was Excited And Felt Like The Marriage Had Turned
Around For The Better. But, The Wife Was Unchanged. So, Step By Step
With Yahweh Guiding Him, Gary Smalley Discovered That There Are Five Languages
Of Love, Or How We Express Love To One Another; And That If You Don’t Get Your
Love Language Met, Then Your Love Tank Feels Empty.
The Five Languages Of Love Are:
1. Quality Time Spent With Them, (This Is Not Being In The Same Room With
Them Watching TV).
2. Words Of Affirmation, (Or Encouraging Words)
3. Acts Of Service, (Doing Things For Another Person)
4. Gift Giving, (Loves To Give, And They Also Treasure Gifts Given To
Them)
5. Physical Touch ~ If You Read The Book, It Says That Physical Touch As A
Love Language Is Not The Same As Sex. Physical Touch Is More Like A Kiss
On The Cheeks, A Pat On The Back, Hugging Someone, Arm Around A Shoulder Or
Waist, Or Holding Hands Or Even Cuddling, But Surprisingly, Another Aspect Of
Physical Touch Is Food, And If You Notice That A Person Likes A Certain Food At
A Restaurant, Why Not Go By There And Surprise Them When Then Come Home And Say,
“I Noticed That You Seemed To Enjoy This Food A Lot And So I Thought I’d Get You
Some”, And See What Happens. Of Course, If You Are The Kind Of Person That
Is More Frugal With Money, This Might Not Occur To You, As You Think You Can
Make It At Home And Save Some Money, Don’t. If You Want To “Walk In Love”,
Then Do Something Different Than What Your Personality And Language Of Love Is…
For Where There Is
“Selfish Ambition”,
There You Find Disorder And Every Evil Practice,
(James 3:16). *Your Language Of Love That Is The Way That You Want To Be Loved Which Would Be
“Selfish Ambition”. Perhaps Your Opinion About Finances Is Conservative;
{However, The
Generous Person Will Be Prosperous, And They Who Water Will Themselves Be Watered,
(Proverbs 11:25)}.
Another Observation That I’ve Noticed Is That If Someone Is Left-Handed, Then
Pass Them Objects With Your Left Hand And They Will Better Be Able To Receive
Them From Your Hand, And Vise-Versa, (If You Happen To Be Left-Handed, Pass
Right-Handed Folks Objects With Your Right Hand), And This Will Take A Lot Of
Frustrations Out Of The Situation.
Illustration #2:
I Recently Went To Fort Worth, Texas, And While I Was Gone My Wife Decided That
She Would Like To Do Something Nice For Me. So, She Put In Another Folding
Table In My Office For Me To Put Things On, And Rearranged Some Items.
When I Saw It, At First I Didn’t Like It Very Much. I Was Kicking The
Things That She Had Placed Under My Feet, And Seriously Wondering Why Would
Anyone Mess With Someone Else’s Stuff Without Asking Them, Or At Least Letting
Them Be There In Person When The Changes Are Being Made.
And The Holy Ghost Showed Me The Numerous Times That My Wife Would Spend Hours
Of Time Washing Our Van Without Me Asking. To Me, I Always Thought That
Was Such A Waste Of Time, When For $2.95 On Wacky Wednesday At Bebo’s Car Wash; I Can Have It Washed And Be Up And
Gone In Less Than 25 Minutes. You See, My Wife’s Language Of Love Is “Acts
Of Service”, And We Tend To Love Someone Else In The Manner In Which We Would
Like To Be Loved. I Did About To Her What She Did To Me With The DishWashing Detergent With My Response Of Not Valuing And Honoring Her).
Her 2nd Language Of Love Is “Quality Time Spent With Her”.
But, Mostly Her Way Of Showing Me Love Would Be To Do
Something For Me, (“Acts Of Service”).
However, My Language Of Love Is “Physical Touch”, And “Words Of Affirmation”; So
Doing Something For Me Just Misses The Mark. The Best Times I Recall Are
Like When I Went To Christian Summer Camp, And One My Of Campers Hugged Me For No Apparent
Reason. What Means A Lot To Me Is Physical Touch, Which Also Does Include
Food; (I Worked On The Streets Of Huntington Beach Until Late At Night Doing
Evangelism With A Team And The Local Church We Working For Would Fix Us Food In
A Different Home Every Day. Wow, Did That Ministered To Me, Which Allowed
Me To Stay Very Late At Night Out In Cold Weather Along California’s Beaches~!
They Did Their Part To Minister To Me, So That I Could Do My Part In Evangelism.
You See My Second Language Of Love Is “Words Of Affirmation”. Once I
Worshipped Right Down Front Of The TV Camera’s At A Church That Broadcast The
Service On The Internet. The Pastor Sent Someone To Tell Me To Go To Back
To The Middle Of The Church . I Was So Embarrassed. I Never Meant To
Cause Harm Or Drawn Attention To Myself. The Next Sunday, I Stood Quietly
And Didn’t Move A Muscle, But They Started Singing, “Rejoice
In The Lord, Always, Again I Say, And Again I Say, Rejoice”, (Philippians
4:4). And It Was Like A Light Bulb From Yahweh Going Off Inside
My Head.
Rejoice, REJOICE, And AGAIN I SAY, REJOICE. This Was Yahweh’s Words
To Me. Without Even Thinking I Jumped Up And Did A Bunch Of Spins, And I Was
Again Extremely Happy In Yahweh. You See Physical Touch Is Also My Way Of
Expressing My Love To Others, Including Our Heavenly Father And I Expressed My
Love To God In A Physical Manner.
When The Song Ended, A Beautiful Young Woman Turned To Me And Said, “You Are
Awesome~!” Wow, Wow, Wow~! For Any Woman To Speak To Another Man In
That Environment Is Usually Discouraged, As It Might Entice The Man To Think
That Was A Come-On. However, This Was Truly Remarkable, As It Just
Ministered Life To Me~! I Just Said “Thanks”. But On The Inside I
Was Turning Flips~! Wow~! I Had Been Restored~! I Believe That She
Heard The Holy Ghost Say To Tell Me, That “I Was Awesome”.. I’ve Never
Been Told I Was Awesome In All My Life~! These Were
“Words Of Affirmation” And
They Ministered Life Back Into Me.
Philippians 2:3-4 …†
3 Do Nothing According To “Selfish
Ambition” Or According To Empty Conceit,
But In Humility Considering One Another Better Than Yourselves,
4 Each Of You Not Looking Out For Your Own Interests,
But Also Each Of You For The Interests Of Others. {Lexham English Bible (LEB)}.
Gary Smalley Says That A Person That Feels Appreciated Will Always Do More Than What Is Expected~!
